


* has been added to the group chat.

by starryhyungwons



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Crack, Just kids being kids, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-02-16 03:12:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13045308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryhyungwons/pseuds/starryhyungwons
Summary: big dumb gay: I'M HAVING A MIDLIFE CRISISnina: ur 16???big dumb gay: i'm gonna die at the ripe age of 32, nina.





	1. soleil a dumbass

_soleil•johnson made a group chat with niñas, mitama☆, and opehliadusk._

_soleil named the group chat “soleil’s a fool”._

_September 29, 6:57 pm_

 

**big dumb gay:** Y'ALL HELP

 

**stan svt:** wtf is this

 

**nina:** a gc can't u read

 

**stan svt:** no im illiterate

 

**big dumb gay:** STFU I'M HAVING A MIDLIFE CRISIS

 

**nina:** ur 16???

 

**big dumb gay:** i’m gonna die at the ripe age of 32, nina.

**big dumb gay:** ANYWAYS

**big dumb gay:** SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AND I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA ON WHAT ITS ON

 

**stan svt:** soleil weve been in school for a whole ass month

**stan svt:** how tf do u not know what ur learning

 

**big dumb gay:** LEAVE ME ALONE I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP IN THAT CLASS

**big dumb gay:** ALSO I FORGET TO TAKE NOTES

 

**stan svt:** fuckin neanderthal

 

**nina:** what class tho

 

**big dumb gay:** PRE AP CHEMISTRY

 

**nina:** holy shit pre ap??? i’m only taking regular chemistry lmao good luck tho

 

**big dumb gay:** FUCK

 

**stan svt:** yea same

 

**big dumb gay:** FUCK^2

 

**stan svt:** maybe add someone who's actually smart

 

**nina:** uh excuse u

**nina:** i'm plenty smart

 

**big dumb gay:** o yea mitama that's a good idea

 

**stan svt:** dumbass

 

**nina:** okay just ignore me then

 

_soleil•johnson added SiegbertdeNohr to the group chat “soleil’s a fool”._

 

**big dumb gay:** SEIGBERT!!!!!

**big dumb gay:**!!!

**big dumb gay:**!!!!!!

**big dumb gay:** siggy!!!!

**big dumb gay:** sieg!!

**big dumb gay:** Bert!!

 

**Siegbert:** Oh my god what do you WANT

 

**big dumb gay:** SCROLL UP

 

**Siegbert:** Soleil what the hell

**Siegbert:** Who's class do you even have

 

**big dumb gay:** MRS. MATHEWS

 

**Siegbert:** Oh gross I had her last year

**Siegbert:** She hates everyone but I'm pretty sure she only tolerated me because she liked my dad

 

**stan svt:** LMAO WHAT

 

**nina:** b-but ur dad has a wife-

 

**Siegbert:** SHE KNOWS THAT

 

**nina:** oof a homewrecker

 

**Siegbert:** But anyways, Soleil would you like to have my notes?

 

**big dumb gay:** YES OFC

**big dumb gay:** i’m omw babe !

 

**Siegbert:** First of all don't call me babe

**Siegbert:** Second of all I could just take pics of them??

 

**big dumb gay:** yea but I wanna come to ur house

**big dumb gay:** be there at 7:30 babe

 

**Siegbert:**

  
**nina:** KSJDHDJ


	2. soleil aces her first test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stan svt: hush u crouton, yes u r

_October 3, 10:15 am_

 

**big dumb gay:** Y'ALL GUESS WHAT

 

**Siegbert:** Stop texting in class

 

**nina:** no way gramps

 

**Siegbert:** Sigh

 

**nina:** but what is it Soleil??

 

**big dumb gay:** I PASSED MY TEST

**big dumb gay:** NOT ONLY DID I PASS IT, I ACED IT

 

**Siegbert:** Good job!! Now stfu before u get your phone taken away again

 

**big dumb gay:** okay dad jeez louise

 

**nina:** LOUISE

  
  


_October 3, 12:20 pm_

 

**stan svt:** how goes it homos

 

**Siegbert:** Why’re you texting me I'm right in front of you Mitama

**Siegbert:** Also I'm not gay??

 

**stan svt:** hush, u crouton yes u r

**stan svt:** also im not just texting u im texting the whole gc

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** woah, a group chat?? when was this made :0

 

**Siegbert:** Like a few days ago

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** and no one bothered to tell me it was made ? :’^[[

 

**stan svt:** to be fair we thought u just muted us

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** now why would i do that??

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** oh wait

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** i muted all my notifs after nina sent gay smut to another gc we were in

 

**stan svt:** WHAT

**stan svt:** i need the link

 

**Siegbert:** I'm removing myself from this chat

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** we’ll just add you back, sieggy !!!

 

**Siegbert:** Sigh

  
  
  


_October 4, 12:09 am_

 

**stan svt:** this gc bout dead asf ://

**stan svt:** imma add some of my peeps is that cool

**stan svt:** okie dokie then

 

_mitama☆ added shinononome, saizou, and Rhajat to the group chat “soleil’s a fool”._

 

**my little witch:** Mitama, what the hell is this?

 

**stan svt:** a group chat for all our friends !! u silly goose

 

**my little witch:** I don't think I know half these people.

 

**stan svt:** good !! u need to socialize more sis

 

**my little witch:** Gross, I'd rather not.

**my little witch:** Anyway, it's late. Shouldn't you head to bed, young one?

 

**stan svt:** oh my god dont call me that ur not even that much older than me

 

**my little witch:** A year makes quite the difference, Mitama.

**my little witch:** But don't dodge my question. You need to go to sleep.

 

**stan svt:** awe do u care about me? <3

 

**my little witch:** <\3

 

**stan svt:** oucH okay okay

**stan svt:** gn syalla

 

**my little witch:** Goodnight.

  
  
  


_October 4, 6:20 am_

 

**big dumb gay:** ^^ whomst the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hrhgrhw i wrote this while procrastinating on a project im sorry if there's any mistakes!!  
>  also it's short orz


	3. shinonome doesnt know how to spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siegbert: Anyway why r u a shoe
> 
> shoe: Huh  
> shoe: OH
> 
> asugi: i changed his screen name to shoe after he misspelled his name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay more trash !

_ October 4, 7:18 am _

 

**asugi:** hello to u too

 

**big dumb gay:** oof my bad

**big dumb gay:** wait asugi?? i think i know u

**big dumb gay:** are u that ginger kid tht got detention for selling edibles in class

 

**asugi:** THEY WEREN'T EDIBLES

**asugi:** THEY WERE JSUT CANDIES I MADE MYSELF OH MY GOD

 

**stan svt:** weed candies

 

**asugi:** bye Mitama I'm leaving I'm getting slandered 

 

**stan svt:** SKHDJD WAIT

 

**big dumb gay:** MY BAD DONT LEAVE

 

**asugi:** finE

**asugi:** but who's “big dumb gay”

 

**big dumb gay:** me

 

**asugi:** …. pls elaborate

 

**big dumb gay:** uh im soleil, pink hair, in ur ap chemistry class?

 

**asugi:** ohhhh yea i know u

**asugi:** ur that girl who said “I'd tap that” after someone said a water molecule was thicc

 

**big dumb gay:** I MEANT TO WHISPER IT TO MY FRIEND SHUT UP

 

**asugi:** JSHDHHD

 

**shoe:** Asugi didn't u say the water molecule was thicc tho

 

**big dumb gay:** so it WAS u

 

**asugi:** SHIRO DONT EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS

 

**nina:** the FUCKS GOIN ON

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** umm.. how can a water molecule be ‘thicc’?

 

**stan svt:** shiros finally here!!

**stan svt:** and nina and ophelia oh boy!

**stan svt:** the gangs all here

 

**nina:** Siegbert ain't here tho

 

**big dumb gay:** yea he is he's just lurking

**big dumb gay:** STOP BEING A CREEP ND TALK TO US

 

**Siegbert:** I'd rather not partake in this conversation thanks 

 

**nina:** same tbh

 

**asugi:** smh non intellects

**asugi:** y'all need to appreciate the thiccness of my bae H2O 

 

_ SiegbertdeNohr has left the chat. _

_ niñas has left the chat. _

 

**stan svt:** SOMEONE ADD THEM BACK

  
  
  


_ October 4, 2:15 pm _

 

**asugi:** fuck i wanna go home

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** are you still at school?

 

**asugi:** yea unfortunately

 

**big dumb gay:** did u get detention for selling edibles again

 

**asugi:** IM NOT A DRUGGIE

 

**big dumb gay:** somehow i don't believe that

**big dumb gay:** n e ways whyre u still at school 

**big dumb gay:** are u a nerd

 

**asugi:** fuck no

**asugi:** I'm not siegbert

 

**Siegbert:** Ouch

**Siegbert:** And we're going to volleyball practice

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** then why are u texting us?? coach simmons will chew u out !!

 

**asugi:** tbh i don't feel like going

**asugi:** hey sieggy wanna skip

 

**Siegbert:** Eh sure

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** *SCANDALIZED GASP*

 

**big dumb gay:** siegbert denohr skipping??? in THIS economy??????

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR SON !!

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:**

****

 

**asugi:** LMAO

 

**Siegbert:** Listen I'm tired okay

**Siegbert:** Earlier in orchestra this girl hit me in the head with her big ass bass and it stILL HURTS

**Siegbert:** I don't wanna be involved in any type of exercise rn

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** aw poor baby :^[ !!

 

**asugi:** let's just chill at chick fil a then

**asugi:** ill pay for the both of us

 

**Siegbert:** Nah u don't have to

 

**asugi:** oh bet bring ur own money then

 

**Siegbert:** I-

 

**big dumb gay:** SKJDHDHD

  
  
  


_ October 4, 8:47 pm _

 

**shoe:** Hey yall

 

**nina:** hey

**nina:** i still don't know who u are

 

**Siegbert:** That's shiro, nina

 

**nina:** uhhhhhh

 

**asugi:** the asian guy with the really thick thighs

 

**nina:** OHHHHHHH

 

**shoe:** Why am I known for that¿

 

**asugi:** cus u have nice thighs?? duh

 

**shoe:** Idk what to say about u saying that to me

 

**asugi:** u could say thank u, for starters

 

**nina:** hey wait Siegbert didn't u mention smth about him once 

 

**Siegbert:** No I didn't 

**Siegbert:** Hush child

  
  
  


_ Private chat with saizou and SeigbertdeNohr. _

 

_ October 4, 8:53 pm _

 

**asugi:** what'd u say about my best friend hoe

 

**Siegbert:** Nothing??

**Siegbert:** It wasnt bad, at least 

 

**asugi:** mmhm

**asugi:** ive got my eye on u, white devil

 

**Siegbert:** I-

**Siegbert:** O-okay

  
  
  


_ “soleil's a fool” _

 

_ October 4, 9:00 pm _

 

**Siegbert:** Anyway why r u a shoe

 

**shoe:** Huh

**shoe:** OH

 

**asugi:** i changed his screen name to shoe after he misspelled his name 

 

**nina:** HOW DO U BUTCHER UR OWN NAME LIKE THAT SKNDBD

 

**asugi:** and get this

**asugi:** this wasn't even over text

**asugi:** he put shoe on his paper

 

**shoe:** LEAVE ME ALONE ASUGI

 

**Siegbert:** What in the fresh hell

 

**nina:** IM DYING OH MY GOD

 

**shoe:** OKAY SO

**shoe:** WE WERE DOING THIS PARTNER ASSIGNMENT IN CLASS

**shoe:** AND THE GUY I WAS WORKING WITH COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY SHOES 

 

**Siegbert:** Jesus fucking Christ

 

**shoe:** SO I GOT DISTRACTED

**shoe:** AND PUT SHOE WHILE I WAS WRITING MY NAME

**shoe:** AND I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL THE TEACHER WAS GRADING THE PAPERS AND WAS LIKE

**shoe:** “Who the hell put shoe as their name?”

**shoe:** AND EVERYONE ELSE TURNED THEIRS IN

**shoe:** SO I WAS THE FUCKER WHO PUT SHOE AS HIS NAME

 

**nina:** what a fucking train wreck

 

**stan svt:** WILD

 

**nina:** shinonome: hey waddup im shiro, im 17 and I never learned how to fucking spell

 

**asugi:** LMAOBSBDVVB

 

**shoe:** BITCH

 

_ shinononome changed their screen name to Shiro. _

 

**nina:** nooo it was iconic

 

**Shiro:** It needed to die

  
  


_ October 5, 4:28 am _

 

_ saizou changed shinononome's screen name to shoe. _

 

**asugi:** >:3


	4. a ship starts to sail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ✯ophelia ✯ : yeah the twins are so adorable nina!!  
>    
> nina: they're satans spawns but ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh spoilers ish???? the fic switches out of the normal "chat mode" for a while tell me if u don't mind reading it like that? ^^;

 

 

_October 19, 9:57 pm_

 

**big dumb gay:** yo yo yO

 

**shoe:** hey hey hey

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** hola hola hola

 

**nina:** aye aye aye

 

**Siegbert:** What's up

 

**big dumb gay:** are u guys free this Saturday???

 

**nina:** ummm maybe

**nina:** y tho

 

**big dumb gay:** cus I'm lonely and I wanna hang out with u guys :’^[[

 

**Siegbert:** You literally came to my house last night

 

**big dumb gay:** okay but

**big dumb gay:** i wanna be with ALL of u

**big dumb gay:** and not while we're in school

 

**shoe:** Nah not this Saturday

 

**nina:** yea same

 

**big dumb gay:** are y'all deadass

 

**shoe:** Deadass

**shoe:** I swear on my timbs

 

**nina:** KSHDHDH

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** shiro, Nina, why can't you guys go?? :^[[

 

**shoe:** I promised Asugi I'd go Halloween costume shopping with him

 

**Siegbert:** Oh man I completely forgot about Halloween

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** how could you possibly forget about Halloween, siegbert???

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** the most haunted, yet accursedly beautiful time of the year !!

 

**big dumb gay:** it's cus Siegberts an old fart

 

**Siegbert:** Wow uncalled for

 

**big dumb gay:** but what're u doing nina

 

**nina:** same thing as shiro

**nina:** my dads are making me take my siblings to go trick or treating this year agaIN

**nina:** EVEN THO THEYRE 13

**nina:** THEYRE FULLY CAPABLE OF BEING BY THEMSELVES

 

**shoe:** aww that's kinda cute tho

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** yeah the twins are so adorable nina!!

 

**nina:** they're satans spawns but ok

 

**big dumb gay:** HEY

**big dumb gay:** KIKI AND KANA ARE MY CHLDREN DONT DISRESPECT THEM LIKE THAT

 

**Siegbert:** Mood

 

**nina:** WHY ARE Y'ALL TEAMING UP AGAINST ME-

 

_opheliadusk named the group chat “no ki-na slander”._

 

**nina:** THEYRE NOT EVEN IN THIS CHAT

 

**shoe:** we should add them

 

**nina:** FUCK NO MOVING ON

**nina:** hey sieg are u free this Saturday??

 

**Siegbert:** Oh I'm not actually, sorry Soleil

 

**big dumb gay:** aw MAN

 

**Siegbert:** I'm helping Forrest make his costume

 

**nina:** now that's a person we should add

 

**big dumb gay:** b-but i-is no one available

**big dumb gay:**

 

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** i am, soleil!!

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** unless you're not fine going with only me..?

 

**big dumb gay:** what!! now i didn't say that

**big dumb gay:** ill gayly go with u

**big dumb gay:** gladly*****

 

**shoe:** U sure u meant that

 

**big dumb gay:** SHUT

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** okay!! what time should we go? :^]

 

**big dumb gay:** uh i was thinking I'll pick you up at 8?

**big dumb gay:** the movies are cheaper in the morning, and then we could grab smth 2 eat

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** that sounds perfect !! i can't wait ^^

 

**stan svt:** that was ,,, the sweetest and gayest thing ive evrr seen

 

_October 21, 10:21 am_

 

_SeigbertDeNohr added Goldilocks to the chat._

 

**forest:** hello I'm hereJMdndn

**forest:** KakBdbdnbB

 

**nina:** what the fuck

**Siegbert:** FORREST TOOK MY PHONE

**Siegbert:** LITTLE SHIT

 

**stan svt:** FORREST DID U ADD URSELF TO THE CHAT LMAOOO

 

**forest:** ofc I did

**forest:** I can't believe u guys made a gc without me

 

**big dumb gay:** tbh there was only supposed to be like 5 ppl

 

**forest:** fair enough

 

**stan svt:** how was ur date

 

**big dumb gay:** it wasn't a date !!

 

_Private chat between Goldilocks and soleil•johnson._

 

_October 21, 10:25 am_

 

**forest:** it's a date isn't it

 

**big dumb gay:** shut the hell ur mouth

 

_“no ki-na slander”_

 

_October 21, 10:30 am_

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** and soleil didn't really watch the movie she was kinda terrified

 

**Siegbert:** Happy death day wasn't even scary tho the hell

 

**big dumb gay:** i-

**big dumb gay:** ophelia stop exposIng mE

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** sorry !! u were adorable tho :^[[

 

**big dumb gay:** i was??

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** yea??

 

**stan svt:** i feel like I'm intruding

 

**Siegbert:** Same

**Siegbert:** Imma leave

 

**big dumb gay:** actually we were about to get lunch

 

**forest:** it's 10 am

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** brunch

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** okay but seriously all I've had today was movie snacks we smuggled in from Wawa

 

**big dumb gay:** ah shit same

**big dumb gay:** lemme treat u to some ihop

 

**stan svt:** get me ihop too

 

**big dumb gay:** fuck no

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** thank u!! but can we walk around the mall a bit ? im still not hungry,,

 

**big dumb gay:** sure whatever u want sweetie

**big dumb gay:** SIS***********

 

**forest:** I'm gonna get cavaties from u two

 

**stan svt:** whyre y'all texting if im assuming ur right next to each other

 

**Siegbert:** It's bc they're texting the whole group chat, Mitama

 

**stan svt:** FUCK YOU

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** lol

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** let's go soleil!!

 

**big dumb gay:** alrighty then

 

_October 12, 6:39 pm_

 

**asugi:** Y'ALL AINT EVEN READY FOR ALL THIS

 

**shoe:** TBH

 

**forest:** woah asugis here??

 

**asugi:** yell heah

 

**Siegbert:** What're your costumes?

 

**shoe:** You'll see at Shigure’s party next weekend ;)

 

**Seigbert:** Pls remove that winkey face

 

**shoe:** Why? Does it effect u ;)))

 

**Siegbert:** Affect*

 

**asugi:** MARK OUR MF WORDS

**asugi:** WE /WILL/ WIN BEST COUPLE COSTUME SECOND YEAR IN A ROW

 

**shoe:** A TRUTH

**shoe:** But what were you two working on

 

**forest:** it's a secret !

**forest:** I'm gonna win best costume, peasants

 

**asugi:** whatever helps u sleep at night

 

**forest:** I'm sorry, do u wanna fucking go

 

**asugi:** yea

**asugi:** on a date

 

**forest:** oh….

 

**asugi:** NOT WITH U THO LMAOOOOOOO

 

**forest:**

 

**forest:** ASUGI ACTUALLY FIGHT ME

 

**nina:** i ship it

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** Nina u ship anything remotely homosexual

 

**big dumb gay:** nina are u even gay

 

**nina:** idk man

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** it's okay

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** u don't rly have to know or label urself

 

**shoe:** Wow deep talks

 

**asugi:** it's not deep hours yet stop this

**asugi:** @ ophelia nd soleil how was yalls date

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** was it really a date ? ^^;;

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** but it was fantastic, thanks again Soleil!!

 

**big dumb gay:** aww no problem :^]

 

**shoe:** Aw you guys r starting to type like eachother

**shoe:** I'm gonna throw up this is too cute

 

**nina:** idk if I were one of u guys I'd think it was a date

 

**Siegbert:** Same

 

**asugi:** me too

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** ,,,

 

_Private chat between soleil•johnson and opheliadusk._

 

  _October 21, 6:51 pm_

 

**big dumb gay:** so in the group chat

**big dumb gay:** are they making u uncomfortable??

**big dumb gay:** i mean, it wasn't rly a date so :/

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** it wasn't?

 

**big dumb gay:** uh

**big dumb gay:** did u want it to be..?

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** soleil, can you answer with just your opinion please,,

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** when you took me our today, what did u think of it as ?

 

**big dumb gay:** honestly? i thought it was a date..

**big dumb gay:** it was really fun, and uh we did things that people did when they were out on one so?? i was really happy..

**big dumb gay:** but i didn't want to say anything because i did know how u felt about it, ophelia

**big dumb gay:** and uh

**big dumb gay:** im sorry if what I'm saying rn is making u iffy

**big dumb gay:** we can forget today, if u want

**big dumb gay:** ophelia?????

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** im so sorry!! i was just, comprehending what you said

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** do u really mean all this soleil?

 

**big dumb gay:** ofc!!!! why would i lie about smth like this

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** soleil

 

**big dumb gay:** that be me

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** ,,,u know ive liked you for a while, right ?

 

**big dumb gay:** HUH

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** sorry, this is kind of weird to do over text…

 

**big dumb gay:** hold on ill call u

 

 

Soleil held the phone close to her hand, hands shaking from anticipation. After what seemed like ages (but really it was only two rings), she heard the blondes small voice over the speaker.

 

_“Hello, Soleil?”_

 

“Ophelia! Umm, Wh-what were you gonna tell me?” Soleil tripped over her words, though that always happened when she was near the cute blonde.

 

_“I just, uhm. I really meant it, you know. I've liked you for a while. I-I never knew how to tell you, even though your … already out._

 

“Ophelia..”

 

_“Wait! Let me finish, first. I always thought that you'd never think of me in /that way/. Like we’d always be friends and that's it. B-but this past month, you've been acting differently towards me. L-like more touchy-feely? A-and I thought u had a chance so.”_ She took a shaky breath, _“I thought I had a chance. And on Thursday, when you asked me to go out, I was ecstatic! E-even though the others were supposed to come. But then, you said it wasn't a date later on and, I felt, crushed? I don't know, I'm sorry. Today was just an emotional roller coaster for me.”_

 

“No, it's okay! Don't apologise, Ophelia. I, I only said that because I didn't want everyone to pry. I'm sorry for making you upset today. But, I still stand by what I texted earlier. I- I like you alot, Ophelia Ylisse!” She confessed. “W-wait are you crying?!”

 

_“From happiness, I swear!”_

 

Soleil sighed, “Okay good, well it's not good that you're crying, but, _fuck.”_

 

Ophelia giggled. _“Yeah, I get it. Can we tell the others now?”_

 

“Sure but, Ophelia?”

 

_“Yes?”_

 

“I love you~”

 

_“Haha, gross.”_

 

_October 21, 7:22 pm_

 

_soleil•johnson named the group chat “sophelia’s wedding”_

 

**asugi:** SHIRO, NINA, AND MITAMA U HOES OWE ME $15

 

**forest:** RUN ME MY MONEY BITCHES

 

**shoe:** SHUT THE FUCK UP Y'ALL ARE GETTING $5 EACH

 

**Siegbert:** CHEAPSKATES

 

_soleil•johnson changed their screen name to “best gf”_

 

**best gf:** i feel like a new woman

 

**stan svt:** we're happy for u two

 

**Siegbert:** Yea it's about time

**Siegbert:** You've been pining for her for like months

 

**best gf:** GOD SIEGBERT SHUT UP

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** months???¿¿

  
**best gf:** ykw goodnight


	5. author's note

so like,, obviously this isn't a real chapter im so sorry about that :^[[  
I've been on vacation this past week but I haven't really had access to Internet,, but once I get back tho I'll update with three more chapters!! thank you all for reading !! ;0


	6. party rock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> best gf: leave me alone i can't read japanese!!!!!
> 
> asugi: fuckin gringo
> 
> Siegbert: I don't think you're using that word correctly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK BITCHES

_ October 27, 2:31 pm _

 

**stan svt:** y'all i think i might cry

**stan svt:** im so fuckgin close to tears rn holy shit

 

**asugi:** ??? 

**asugi:** MITAMA WHATS WRONG

**asugi:** WHO AM I GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT

 

**stan svt:** i waved at a baby @ walmart and he turned away from me :/

**stan svt:** he was so cute too…

**stan:** so chubby…..

 

**asugi:** i-

 

**forest:** LMAO ASUGI U GONNA FIGHT A BABY??

 

**asugi:** YEA ACTUALLY

**asugi:** only for u mitama <3

 

**mitama:** thts gay :/

 

**best gf:** someone say gay??? 

**best gf:** here i am

 

**forest:** wow

 

**best gf:** oof did i tell y'all abt how one time sieg waved at a baby anD THEY STARTED TO CRY

**best gf:** BRO I WAS DYING

 

**forest:** HE TOLD ME ABOUT THAT

**forest:** HE WAS SO HURT LMAOOO

 

**nina:** Someone say Siegbert slander???

**nina:** I'm here

 

**Siegbert:** Ykw fuck u guys

  
  
  


_ October 27, 10:18 pm _

 

**best gf:** who's ready 2 get TURNT TOMORROW

 

**shoe:** Who TF says turnt anymore 

 

**best gf:** me i do

**best gf:** leave me alone

 

**Siegbert:** What time does that party even start??

 

**nina:** isn't it 6

 

**forest:** I thought it was 8..

 

**stan svt:** so no one knows wtf we’re doing

 

**shoe:** Not particularly

 

**asugi:** that's a big word

**asugi:** anyways desperate times call for desperate measures

 

**Siegbert:** Wdym

 

_ saizou added シグレ to the group chat. _

 

**asugi:** shigure what time does the party fucking start we're all dumbassses with memories of a goldfish

 

**シグレ:** Well that's not very nice lol

**シグレ:** But it starts at 7:30 :)

 

**stan svt:** we were all off whoops

**stan svt:** well ur jobs done shigure u can go

 

**シグレ:** Uh rude

**シグレ:** Uninvited

 

**stan svt:** NVM I LOVE YOU

 

**シグレ:** >:)

 

**best gf:** hey shigure what does ur username say

 

**シグレ:** ...Shigure…………

 

**best gf:** OH

 

**シグレ:** 脳たりん

 

**best gf:** idk what that says but i have a feeling u cursed me out in japanese 

 

**stan svt:** KSHDHDJ

 

**best gf:** leave me alone i can't read japanese!!!!!

 

**asugi:** fuckin gringo

 

**Siegbert:** I don't think you're using that word correctly

  
  


_ October 28, 6:17 pm _

 

**シグレ:** Everyone have their costumes? :)

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** of course !!

 

**shoe:** Ooh Ophelia what're u going as

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** it's a secret ~

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** i think we should all wait until the party to reveal our costumes tho!

 

**asugi:** fair enough

**asugi:** shiro ur still picking me up right

 

**shoe:** Yea give me a sec Jesus

**shoe:** I haven't even put on my costume

 

**asugi:** HURRY UP FOOL

 

**shiro:** U CANT RUSH PERFECTION

 

**nina:** Shigure is Dwyer gonna be there?

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** aren't they siblings??

 

**forest:** yea but last year he stayed in his room the whole time

 

**シグレ:** He won't be in his room this time!

**シグレ:** He's baking the food right now actually

 

**stan svt:** FUCK YES

**stan svt:** DWYERS FOOD IS SO FUCKING GOOD

 

**shoe:** Dwyer’s cooking???

**shoe:** Imma take some shit home then

**shoe:** ASUGI YOU HAVE ZIP LOCK BAGGIES AT YOUR HOUSE RIGHT

 

**asugi:** even better

**asugi:** take out boxes

 

**nina:** BRING ME ONE

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** me too please !!!!

 

**asugi:** ALRIGHT ALRIGHT DAMN

 

**forest:** hey we should add Dwyer to the chat

 

**シグレ:** He probably won't talk

**シグレ:** Unless we add Sophie ;)

 

**stan svt:** OOHHH DWYER LIKES SOPHIE??

 

**シグレ:** I said nothing of the sort

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** time to play matchmaker tonight !!!

 

**shoe:** Uhh who's Sophie

 

**Siegbert:** She's the white chick I told u about who got dared to ride her horse to school for 20 bucks and the next day she was $20 richer 

 

**シグレ:** Ok mood

 

**stan svt:** she seems wild

**stan svt:** i like her already

 

**nina:** anyone have her number tho

 

**Siegbert:** I do hold on

 

**best gf:** oooooo

 

**Siegbert:** Shut the fuck up

 

_ SiegbertDeNohr added sophsters to the chat. _

 

**Sophie:** Woah hello

 

**stan svt:** hi sophie u don't know me but i gotta ask u smth. 

 

**Sophie:** Ok?

 

**stan svt:** was there ever a time where you were dared to ride ur horse to school and u did

 

**Sophie:** Oh my God that was YEARS ago

 

**nina:** fuckin iconic tho

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** tbh

 

**シグレ:** Sophie you're coming tonight right??? 

 

**Sophie:** Ofc!! Is everyone in this chat coming too?

 

**best gf:** hell yea

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** and Dwyer will be, too!!

 

**Sophie:** Well duh..?

**Sophie:** Him and Shigure live in the same house lol

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** sigh

  
  


_ October 28, 7:11 pm _

 

**nina:** ffuck I might not be able to go??

 

**シグレ:** What!!

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** aw nina why?? :(

 

**nina:** I forgot my dads r going out tonight

**nina:** and they told me to watch the twins :/

 

**Sophie:** Aren't they like 14

 

**nina:** 13

 

**シグレ** : Just bring them with you

 

**Sophie:** WHAT

 

**nina:** WHAT

 

**shoe:** WHAT

 

**best gf:** QUÉ

 

**stan svt:** HUH

 

**asugi:** BRo im not even bringing midoriko

 

**シグレ:** I mean it's not like we're doing anything illegal

**シグレ:** They could help set up the food table??

 

**asugi:** we're not doing anything illegal?? nvm im not coming 

 

**Sophie:** LMAO

 

**nina:** hnngng

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** it won't be that bad!!

 

**nina:** hNNhgG 

**nina:** nah

**nina:** ill just stay home this year

 

**stan svt:** nina no!!!

 

**nina:** it's okay really

**nina:** honestly it's my fault for forgetting they told me like a week ago :/

 

**シグレ:** Are you sure? It really won't be a problem if they're there

 

**nina:** im positive

**nina:** BUT y'all better take pictures !!!

  
  


_ October 28, 9:42 pm _

 

**nina:** so what happened???

 

**best gf:** [Image Attachment Sent]

**best gf:** [Image Attachment Sent]

**best to:** [Image Attachment Sent]

 

**nina:** omg

**nina:** is that Asugi in a crop top

**nina:** instant nut

 

**shoe:** HES KIM POSSIBLE THANK U VERY MUCH

 

**nina:** OHH I SEE IT NOW

 

**shoe:** Soleil's shit at taking pictures

 

**Siegbert:** Unless she's taking a pic of Ophelia

 

**shoe:** Tru

 

**best gf:** it wasn't on purpose i swear-

 

**Sophie:** Okay but u did Dwyer and Shigure so dirty??

**Sophie:** They looked beautiful as Hikaru and Kaoru

 

**best gf:** LEAVE ME ALONE MY GOD

 

**nina:** so did shiro and asugi win the best couple costume??

 

**shoe:** Actually….

 

**シグレ:** I had to stop the party

**シグレ:** Some older kids crashed it :/

 

**nina:** aw what the hell

 

**shoe:** Yeah they brought some beer and weed also Asugi's drink was spiked  

 

**Siegbert:** Oh yeah is he okay?

 

**shoe:** Knocked out on my bed

**shoe:** My aunt's home so she's taking care of him

 

**best gf:** ok good

**best gf:** it's probably best that u and kiki nd kana didn't come after all

 

**nina:** shit ur telling me

 

**Siegbert:** But u know I've never seen Dwyer get upset

 

**シグレ:** Actually same?

**シグレ:** He handled the party way better than I could have 

 

**nina:** oooh what happened

 

**shoe:** Some drunk kids knocked over his food table and he went apeshit

 

**best gf:** okay mood tho bc that food was the bomb

**best gf:** but he like turned off all the music nd the kids were like 'boo’ and he was like SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

**nina:** LMAO

 

**best gf:** and then in like the quietest voice ever he was like ‘ i swear to god. if yall don't get the fuck out of my house in under 5 seconds. i will call the cops and personally drag your asses to the car. and if u decide u stay’ then he pulled out this BIG ASS SPEAR FROM OUTTA NOWHERE 'then ill murder you instead’ BIG MOOD

 

**nina:** HOLY SHIT

 

**シグレ:** Oh yea that's our mom's naginata

**シグレ:** Idk why she has that tho

 

**nina:** wild

**nina:** I wish I was there for that at least

 

**shoe:** Did anyone record it

 

**best gf:** i think Ophelia did

**best gf:** but she's a lil high nd idk her phone password 

 

**Siegbert:** It's probably Soleil

 

**best gf:** ooo good thinking

**best gf:** so like

**best gf:** how can u tell which numbers correspond to the letters

 

**Siegbert:** Dumbass

 

**シグレ:** Just wait for her to sober up lol

 

**Sophie:** Hey y'all

 

**best gf:** where TF have u been 

 

**Sophie:** Trying to wash the weed smell off of me

 

**stan svt:** same holy fuck

**stan svt:** and yea dwyer went OFF lmfao

 

**shoe:** tonight's been a wild night

 

**Sophie:** It sure fucking has 

 

**シグレ:** Oh yeah before I forget 

 

_ シグレ added dearestdwys to the group chat. _

 

**シグレ:** And I'll give you and Asugi the prize when I see you guys on Monday :)

 

**nina:** wait y'all

**nina:** Shiro if Asugi was Kim possible were u ron stoppable??

 

**shoe:** Fuck no

**shoe:** I was Shego >;)

 

**nina:** PLEASE WEAR THAT COSTUME TO SCHOOL ON TUESDAY


	7. happy halloweenie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisame: ASUGI
> 
> asugi: WHAT
> 
> Hisame: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I WATCH HENTAI

_October 29, 7:47 am_

 

 **stan svt:** yo wait where was forrest last night

 

 **forest:** drunk

 

_October 31, 12:00 am_

 

 **asugi:** HAPPYYYY

 

 **stan svt:** HALLOWEENIE

 **stan svt:** HALLOWEEN*

 **stan svt:** SORRY

 

 **Sophie:** Did u guys stay up just to say that at 12 am

 

 **asugi:** yea but i was studying

 

 **stan svt:** nah i set an alarm

 

 **dwyer:** wild

 **dwyer:** also why would halloween autocorrect to halloweenie

 **dwyer:** how many times do u say halloweenie, mitama and why

 

 **stan svt:** wouldn't u like to know ;)

 

 **asugi:** gross

 **asugi:** howd u even know that was mitama

 

 **dwyer:** she kinda preaches to me about kpop in culinary club so i just assumed

 

 **Sophie:** Mitama you're in culinary club?

 

 **asugi:** bring me food pls

 

 **stan svt:** yea and no

 **stan svt:** shouldn't u be studying fool

 

 **asugi:** oof

 **asugi:** see ya hoes later

 

 **dwyer:** yea imma go back to sleep

 

 **Sophie:** Don't forget your costumes today guys!!

 

 **stan svt:** ^^

 

October 31, 8:21 am

 

 **shoe:** YALL I'm so fucking mad

 **shoe:** My chemistry teacher dress coded mE

 

 **asugi:** HUH

 **asugi:** HOW WILL WE TWIN IN 4TH PERIOD

 

 **shoe:** I'm not going to the office duh

 

 **best gf:** okay but why'd she dress code u??

 

 **Sophie:** Yea I swear I saw some chicks in lingerie and cat ears down the hall earlier

 

 **shoe:** She said it was “””too revealing”””

 

 **asugi:** but it's a bodysuit???

 

 **shoe:** EXACTLY

 

 **Siegbert:** I'm assuming you’re skipping class

 

 **shoe:** Yea we were supposed to take a test today but who cares honestly

 

 **forest:** okay anyways enough of Shiro’s sad situation

 

 **shoe:** Ouch

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** have you guys seen our costumes??

 

 **Sophie:** I don't think so?

 

 **nina:** well Sophie's gonna see you're in our next class

 

 **asugi:** are y'all the three musketeers or smth

 

 **forest:** no fool

 

_October 31, 9:06 am_

 

 **Sophie:** THEYRE THE POWERPUFF GIRLS !!!

 

 **stan svt:** CUTE

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** i'm bubbles !!!

 

 **nina:** im buttercup

 

 **forest:** and I'm blossom :)

 

 **shoe:** Wow I stan

 

_mitama changed their screen name to stan ppg._

 

 **nina:** LMAO

 

 **stan ppg:** such an iconic trio

 

_October 31, 11:47 am_

 

 **forest:** there are two grim reapers in my lunch period rn and I am Terrified.

 

 **Siegbert:** Oh one of them is me

 

 **forest:** Sieg what the hell

 

 **dwyer:** the other ones me

 

 **Siegbert:** Smh Dwyer there's only supposed to be one grim reaper stop jacking my style

 

 **Sophie:** Lmfao

 **Sophie:** Dwyer which one are you? Let me sit next to you

 

 **dwyer:** the one who just pulled off his mask

 

 **best gf:** wait y'all had ur masks on the whole time

 **best gf:** how did u eat

 

 **Siegbert:** My class is having a party rn so I'm not eating the schools lunch

 

 **nina:** then why bother coming to the cafeteria

 

 **Siegbert:** I wanna talk to my friends leave me alone

 

 **forest:** Siegbert has friends ???? :000

 

_SiegbertDeNohr has removed Goldilocks from the chat._

 

 **Sophie:** Brutal

 

_October 31, 12:37 pm_

 

 **シグレ:** Holy hell

 

 **dwyer:** what

 

 **シグレ:** Idk how I didn't notice before at the party but,

 **シグレ:** Shiro’s costume is really fucking tight

 

 **dwyer:** bro i think ur gay is showing

 

 **シグレ:** Shut UP

 

 **Siegbert:** Shigure wdym

 

 **シグレ:** Turn around

 

 **Siegbert:** OHHHHH

 **Siegbert:** Wowza

 

 **nina:** wait send pics i haven't seen Shiro all day

 

 **シグレ:** [Image Attachment Sent]

 

 **nina:** HOOO NELLY

**nina:**

****

 

 **stan ppg:** did his tiddies get bigger or...

 

 **dwyer:** mitama…..

 

 **stan ppg:** WHAT

 **stan ppg:** SHINONOME HAS TIDDIES

 **stan ppg:** NOT LIKE HES FAT OR ANYTHING

 

 **Siegbert:** Mitama oh my God

 

 **stan ppg:** BUT HES REALLY FUCKING BUFF OKAY

 

 **shoe:**..

 

 **stan ppg:** HEY SHIRO

 

 **dwyer:** wild

 

_October 31, 2:07 pm_

 

 **asugi:** school's out and so is my dick

 

 **dwyer:** woAH there

 

 **nina:** beating it already in the comfort of ur own home or are you tryna get registered as a sex offender

 

 **asugi:** ;)

 

 **nina:** THATS NOT AN ANSWER

 

 **shoe:** Hey uh who has a car

 

 **asugi:** u do¿

 

 **shoe:** Yes but

 **shoe:** My car’s getting fixed rn and I need to pick up Kisaragi

 

 **Siegbert:** Oh I have one

 **Siegbert:** Come to the parking lot

 

 **dwyer:** Don't middle schools end at 3 tho

 

 **shoe:** Yes BUT

 **shoe:** Smth tells me it wouldnt be appropriate to pick up my cousin in my outfit rn

 **shoe:** Also Siegbert which ones yours

 

 **Siegbert:** The silver Nissan allllll the way to the left

 

 **shoe:** Fuck can't u just drive over here

 

 **Siegbert:** Oh so you don't need a ride then  

 

 **shoe:** :’( Siegbert’s so mean

 

_October 31, 5:15 pm_

 

 **nina:** Shiro!!!!!!!!

 **nina:**!!

 **nina:** Shinonome !!

 

 **shoe:** Woah what

 

 **nina:** is Kisaragi going trick or treating with anyone??

 

 **shoe:** Uhh w his friend Percy I think

 **shoe:** Why?

 

 **nina:** oh

 **nina:** cus I don't wanna take my siblings..

 

 **best gf:** wow dude

 **best gf:** i’d take ur place smh that's free candy right there

 

 **nina:** i was gonna go with Forrest and Ophelia skdbbfv

 

 **shoe:** Do you want me to take them with Kisaragi?

 

 **nina:** uh yes pls

 **nina:** where do u live again?

 

 **shoe:** Westbridge

 

 **forest:** that's quite the walk from your place, Nina

 

 **nina:** I knoW

 **nina:** wait hold on there's a shortcut

 

 **shoe:** The one that cuts over the river?

 

 **nina:** yea man

 

 **forest:** oh ok be careful

 

 **nina:** kana was the one who showed it to me tho

 **nina:** danger is our middle names >:)

 

 **shoe:** Ur parents weren't very creative then :/

 

_October 31, 10:11 pm_

 

 **shoe:** Look at my little cousin's haul holy shit

 **shoe:** [Image Attachment Sent]

 

 **stan ppg:** aw man i should've went to westbridge then

 

 **asugi:** where were u?? that's the rich asian neighborhood fool

 

 **stan ppg:** at the rich white neighborhood

 **stan ppg:** me and syalla saw our lovely powerpuff girls

 

 **forest:** that was Syalla??????

 **forest:** she looked so… not menacing

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** well duh they were magical girls

 

 **シグレ:** Oh I think I saw them

 **シグレ:** I didn't recognize the anime tho?

 **シグレ:** You two were the ones with the blonde pigtails and dark blue hair right?

 

 **stan ppg:** yep

 

 **asugi:** wait i think i know the anime

 

 **stan ppg:** uhh

 

 **asugi:** a-ain't it a hentai

 

 **stan ppg:** y-yea

 

 **shigure:** EXCUSE ME

 

 **forest:** HENTAISMNDBDB

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** what's a hentai?

 

 **stan ppg:** NOTHING OPHELIA

 

 **dwyer:** it's animated porn.

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** oh……..

 

 **asugi:** hey y'all wanna know smth

 

 **nina:** if it's about hentai I'm all ears

 

 **forest:** ksbdbdbfn

 

 **asugi:** hisame was the one who told me abt hentai

 

 **シグレ:** Hisame??

 **シグレ:** Sweet quiet Hisame¿?

 

 **asugi:** he's a lil freaky

 

 **forest:** it's always the quiet ones

 **forest:** u should add him

 

_saizou added picklejuice to the group chat._

 

 **asugi:** way ahead of u goldilocks

 

 **Hisame:** Oh hey

 

 **nina:** ah here he is

 **nina:** Mr hentai in the flesh

 

 **Hisame:** ASUGI

 

 **asugi:** WHAT

 

 **Hisame:** STOP TELLING PEOPLE I WATCH HENTAI

 

 **asugi:** I DIDN'T

 

 **Hisame:** I don't believe you

 **Hisame:** Fucker

 

 **stan ppg:** w-wild

 **stan ppg:** hey hisame u got any hentai links tho

 

 **best gf:** MITAMA SKDVDVFV

 

_private chat between picklejuice and mitama☆._

 

_October 31, 10:47 pm_

 

 **Hisame:** So what kinds are you looking for

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case anyone wants to know (for whatever reason), the name of the hentai is magical girl elena lmao


	8. no nut november

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little shit: Ok but this wouldn't have happened if u didn't beat ur meat ://

_October 31, 11:12 pm_

 

**shoe:** 11:11 MAKE A WISH

**shoe:** Fuck

 

**Sophie:** Nice try

 

**stan ppg:** shiro how do u always manage to fuck that up

 

**shoe:** Bc I remember about 11:11 after it's 11:11

 

**forest:** tragic

 

**best gf:** n e ways enough of shiro's tragic life

 

**shoe:** “n e ways”??

 

**Siegbert:** Say it out loud

 

**shoe:** OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

**best gf:** N E WAYS

**best gf:** in one hour, there will be a month long event for u men

 

**シグレ:** Wdym

 

**best gf:**

 

**dwyer:** HSGSGHD

 

**asugi:** oh yeahh shiro i dm’d u about this like last week

 

**shiro:** Lmao okay I'm not about to do it tho

 

**dwyer:** same honestly

 

**stan ppg:** wow dwyer i didn't know u beat ur meat

 

**Siegbert:** E-excuse me

 

**stan ppg:** what

 

**シグレ:** Beat your meat??

 

**forest:** it's pretty self explanatory guys..

 

**Hisame:** The hell

**Hisame:** Why is this the first thing you guys are talking about when you brought me to this group chat

 

**asugi:** this is all soleil's fault

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** no listen !!

 

**nina:** so we have a game for you guys

 

_sophsters named the group chat No Nut November._

 

**シグレ:** Oh my God-

 

**Sophie:** And like whichever guy can last no nut November wins!

 

**shoe:** wait but

**shoe:** can't girls nut too

 

**Siegbert:** Are we talking figuratively or literally

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** im pretty sure we can do both

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** hey Soleil wanna test it out

 

**stan ppg:** feisty

 

**best gf:** i uh-

**best gf:** just dm me about tht later ok babe?

 

**dwyer:** woah

 

**best gf:** N E WAY

**best gf:** so y'all in or y'all out

 

**Siegbert:** I'll pass thanks

 

**dwyer:** is there a prize

 

**nina:** that's a surprise ;)

 

**dwyer:** now i care even less

 

**stan ppg:** nina send a pic

 

**nina:** finE

**nina:** [Image Attachment Sent]

 

**forest:** why’re u posing like that

**forest:** you're so lame

 

**nina:** hush

 

**Hisame:** Why's the box so damn big

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** you'll find out if u participate !!!!

 

**asugi:** it's probably a bunch of boxes until there's this itty bitty one inside

 

**Sophie:** Ngl we thought about that

 

**best gf:** SO AGAIN I ASK

**best gf:** are y'all in

**best gf:** or out >:))

 

**forest:** eh why not

 

**shoe:** Does Forrest even count tho

 

**forest:**

**forest:** fuck you too then

 

**dwyer:** anyways i'll do it

 

**Siegbert:** Me 2

 

**asugi:** me 3

 

**Hisame:** Same I guess

 

**シグレ:** I'd like to know what the prize is

 

**nina:** shigure u beat ur meat??

 

**dwyer:** ofc he does

**dwyer:** who else uses that 6 inch dildo in his room

 

**シグレ:** DWYER SHUT UP

**シグレ:** JESUS

 

**best gf:** w-woah

 

**stan ppg:** sh-shigure’s a sub?

 

**Sophie:** Who would've thot

 

**シグレ:** I'm a switch thank you very much

 

**Hisame:** Wow

 

**stan ppg:** what hisame

 

**Hisame:** Nothing? Shigure seems just like a power bottom

 

**nina:** wouldn't u know ;;)

 

**Hisame:** Shut-

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** shigure can't dom he's too skinny

 

**Siegbert:** I'm honestly surprised you know what that means, Ophelia

 

✯ **ophelia** ✯ **:** when you're friends with Nina it kinda happens

 

**nina:** oof

 

**asugi:** wait wdym skinny guys can't dom !!!!!

 

**shoe:** Asugi ur a whole pillow princess FYM

 

**asugi:** *you better back TF up meme*

 

_October 31, 11:47_ pm

 

**stan ppg:** oh btw

**stan ppg:** i think we forgot to mention but it kinda goes w out saying

**stan ppg:** be honest

**stan ppg:** confess ur sins if u beat ur meat

**stan ppg:** that's Jesus’ tears u kno :’(

 

_November 1, 5:27 am_

 

**Hisame:** Mitama what the fuck

 

_November 1, 6:57 pm_

 

**shoe:** Y'all Asugi already lost no nut November

 

**asugi:** YOU PROMISED NOT TO TELL

**asugi:** FUCKER

 

_saizou has changed shinononome’s screen name to little shit._

 

**little shit:** OuCH

**little shit:** RESPECT YOUR ELDERS

 

**Siegbert:** How the hell did you even find that out

 

**shoe:** Well I went to his house

 

**asugi:** UNINVITED

 

**shoe:** And I went to his room to give him back his Ace Attorney game

 

**asugi:** WITHOUT KNOCKING

**asugi:** THERE'S A FUCKING SIGN ON MY DOOR THAT SAYS PLEASE KNOCK

 

**shoe:** Sry I'm illiterate

 

**asugi:** IN ENGLISH AND JAPANESE ¿¿????

 

**Sophie:** That's kinda sad Shinonome :/

 

**Siegbert:** Skdnbdbf

 

**Sophie:** Wait how'd you even get into his house??

 

**little shit:** I have a key

 

**asugi:** which i am tAKING AWAY

 

**Siegbert:** Why didn't you lock your door

 

**asugi:** the lock’s been broken for a while now

 

**nina:** how big

 

**asugi:** h-huh

 

**nina:** :|

 

**little shit:** Nina…,,,

**little shit:** I didn't see his dick.

 

**nina:** aww man

 

**asugi:** i-

**asugi:** were u hoping that would turn into a gay porn or smth

 

**nina:** a lil :/

 

**asugi:** Goodnight.

 

**Siegbert:** Nina what the hell

 

**asugi:** no offence but the last dude id fuck would be shiro

 

**little shit:** Ouch bro

**little shit:** That hurt me in my kokoro :(

 

**asugi:** sorry bro

**asugi:** besides

**asugi:** thats more siegberts style

 

_Private chat between shinononome and saizou._

_November 1, 7:19 pm_

 

**little shit:** Shut the FUCK up

 

**asugi:** :)

**asugi:** <3

 

_No Nut November_

_November 1, 7:21 pm_

 

**Siegbert:** Huh

 

**nina:** oooh I ship

 

**little shit:** Nina you ship anything that breaths

 

**Siegbert:** Breathes*

**Siegbert:** But tru

 

**little shit:** See I'm illiterate

 

**Siegbert:** OK mister AP English and AP Japanese

 

**Sophie:** Caught

 

**asugi:** back to the point at hand

 

**Sophie:** There was a point to this conversation?

 

**asugi:** yeah

**asugi:** shinonomes a non illiterate piece of shit

 

**little shit:** Ok but this wouldn't have happened if u didn't beat ur meat ://

 

**asugi:**

 

_saizou changed shinononome's screen name to shittynome._

 

**shittynome:** WOW

 

**nina:** LMAOOO

 

**shittynome:** ITS CALLED NO NUT NOVEMBER FOR A REASON DICKHEAD

 

**asugi:**

 

**shittynome:** STOP RESPONDING WITH MEMES

 

**asugi:** they do all the talking for me, sugar

 

**shittynome:** Gay

**shittynome:** Someone change my screen name please

 

**Siegbert:** Do u really not know how to

 

**Sophie:** What an old man

 

_SiegbertDeNohr changed shinononome's screen name to shiro._

 

**shiro:** tyvm.

 

_November 1, 7:28 pm_

 

**stan ppg:** OHHHH MY LORD

**stan ppg:** Y'ALL I

**stan ppg:** I CANNUH

 

**Hisame:** Are you okay

 

**nina:** she just watched Astro’s new music vid

 

**Hisame:** Who's Astro??

 

**シグレ:** Hisame ur asking to get pimp slapped.

 

**Hisame:** By you or Mitama

 

**シグレ:** Both

 

**stan ppg:** both fool

**stan ppg:** anyways i love rocky with all my heart???

**stan ppg:** everyone looked so GOOD

**stan ppg:** I JUST

**stan ppg:**

 

**シグレ:** Also Monsta X and Seventeen are having comebacks this month too

 

**stan ppg:** a blessed month

**stan ppg:** y'all be ready for me to cry abt my boys all month alright

 

_mitama changed their screen name to stan astro._

 

**nina:** u do that year-round but whatever

 

_November 6, 6:07 pm_

 

**stan astro:** Y'ALL

**stan astro:** YOU GUYS

**stan astro:** MY WIG?

**stan astro:** IN ORBIT

**stan astro:** IN ANOTHER DIMENSION

 

**Sophie:** Lmao WHAT

 

**stan astro:** SEVENTEEN

 

**forest:** seventeen what?

 

**asugi:** the kpop group lmao

**asugi:** they just released their album right

 

**stan astro:** YELL HEAH

**stan astro:** CLAP IS A MF BOP

 

_mitama changed their screen name to stan svt._

 

_November 7, 6:11 pm_

 

_mitama changed their screen name to stan mx._

 

**stan mx:** y'all im really about to hop on kihyuns dick-

  
**Hisame:** ENOUGH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pssst hey stan seventeen and monsta x

**Author's Note:**

> and that's all folks! not rly tho uh this fandoms kinda dead,, but pls comment if u wanna read more !! <3


End file.
